How to Get a Second Date with a Girl

How do I arrange and do a Day 2?

The 16th in our 20 Methods You can Use to Attract Women series.

Couple on date

A Day 2 is the second time you properly interact with your ‘target’ girl. So, let’s say you meet, interact with attract and close a girl in a nightclub. You mention that tomorrow you’re doing some shopping with some friends and she should come along—she says yes. That shopping trip is your Day 2. But Day 2s don’t also have to be the day that comes directly after your first interaction. Day 2 just means the second main event or interaction you share with your target. The reason Day 2s deserve some explanation is because they can make or break your chances of dating a woman. If your Day 2 goes wrong, you can either fall into a woman’s ‘friends’ category or just fall off her social radar altogether.

So, what are the rules which must be followed to ensure your Day 2 with a woman goes as well as possible?

Your work is not over just because a Day 2 has been arranged

Lots of men think that once they’ve got a girl’s number and/or arranged a second meeting with her, it’s plain sailing—their work is done. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Lots of your work is still ahead of you, but stage one (initial attraction and mild comfort building) is certainly out of the way. Don’t make the mistake of arranging a date as your day two. Just don’t do it—no dinner dates, no restaurants, no coffee and cake with just you and her, no trip to the movie theater. You need to avoid clichéd dates at the start of your relationship with a woman (the first three interactions or so).

You MUST avoid the common mistakes a lot of men make on Day 2s

They are:

• Amplifying too quickly/being too keen, too soon
• Amplifying too slowly/being too ‘cold’, for too long
• Falling prey to clichéd dating rituals (as just mentioned)
• Showing they’re inexperienced
• Sacrificing their value
• Going straight to “you and me”
• You must aim to gradually achieve the following goals
• Build more mutually felt rapport and comfort.
• Increase the mutual tactility more and more.
• Maintain attraction and build it further.
• Learn more about each other.
• Develop in-jokes and things that are unique to you and her.
• Silently establish in both of your minds that, as time goes on, you’re becoming closer and more of an item.

All of those things need to be done at the right speed. If you increase tactility too quickly on your Day 2, the girl will think you’ve adopted her as your girlfriend and will freak out as a result. If you don’t amplify things like tactility and comfort quickly enough, however, you’ll be sending the girl mixed signals—you’ve invited her yet you aren’t capitalizing on her being there. You could easily fall into her ‘friends’ zone by being this slow to progress things.

During your Day 2 (to be honest, and all of the time) everything you do and say around the woman should fit with the following summary of your personality and lifestyle:

You are a popular, confident man with lots of friends of both sexes. You keep your social calendar pretty full, but still live your social life at a relaxed, enjoyable pace. When you’re with people you know, they can’t help but enjoy your company. When it comes to dating women, you adopt the following position. You are passionate about meeting new people, male and female. You simply enjoy it. It fits right into your general attitude towardslife: to have fun and explore. When you meet new girl, you at first treat her like you would any new friend.  You don’t rush things, simply because you don’t need to. Rushing through the ‘getting to know you’ phase would show that you rarely meet new people, especially women, which isn’t true. You don’t have any hidden agendas when it comes to dating women. Why would you? You don’t need to care about when you’refirst going have sex what the girl thinking because these things always take care of themselves. You’re capable of getting to know a girl at a relaxed pace but without it getting boring or going stale. Women love this because it fits in with what they need. They want to get to know you more because they’re attracted to you. But  they want to take it at a comfortable pace. They don’t want to skip right to dinner-dates, candle-lit meals and buying roses and chocolates because these are things couples do when they’ve been together for months, not days or weeks. You feel the same. You don’t want to skip to formal, conventional dating either. In fact, the thought of dating the girl in this kind of way doesn’t even cross your mind. You just want to hang out with her more, no strings attached, no promises of what’s to come and no pressure. But this isn’t about being a hippy and practising ‘free-love’. It’s just about being a socially high status guy who regularly brings new women into his social circle and also enters theirs. If things go well with you and a girl, you’ll take it further. Simple. No stress. It’s a mutually beneficial situation. The girl wants to be your girlfriend and you want to be her boyfriend. You aren’t soul-mates, you’re just two people enjoying each other’s time, personalities and, of course, bodies.

everything you do and say around the woman should fit with the following summary of your personality and lifestyle

That may not sum-up your current approach to life, but it is the impression you should give the woman on your Day 2.

So, do things like.

• Make your Day 2 a group event.
• Don’t rush into “you and me” talk, like you’re already an item.
• Flirt with her but don’t drown her with your attention. Your friends get their fair share of your
  time and positive attention, because they are, after all, your friends. This is a respectable,
  attractive quality.
• You basically need to seem ultra laid-back. You laugh, you joke, you’re casual about what’s going
  on between you and the woman. You’re maintaining your social value and you’re therefore able
  to continue to build comfort between you and her, which will, in the end, lead to you and her
  having sex and/or dating.

Get even MORE valuable tips and more advanced tricks in the Black Belt Seduction Course by Matthew William Sharpe

Send article as PDF to

What to Do After Meeting a Girl

‘I’ve met this girl…what do I do next?’

The 15th in our 20 Methods You can Use to Attract Women series.

If we’re going to talk about frequently asked questions, then this one should rank right at the top our list. The only reason it’s not placed first in this crash course is that the questions and answers have been roughly ordered to match where they fit in the process of becoming a ‘pickup artist’.

What does this question mean, then? It refers to that all-too-common scenario men find themselves in. They meet a girl for the first time and really seem to hit it off with her. Their conversation is just great—it really feels like there’s a spark between the two of them. The night, or day, ends with the guy and the girl saying bye. The guy can’t stop thinking about her. Questions are racing through his mind: “Did she love it as much as I did?” “Is she thinking about me like I’m thinking about her?” etc.

And the biggest question floating around in his brain is

“What can I do to see her again and what should I say and do when I do see her to make something good happen?”

The best way to handle this scenario, to be honest, is to not let it happen. What I mean is, from this day forward you should try your hardest to use as much the advice you’ve learned from this crash course as possible. If you do that, you’ll be much more likely to build enough attraction and rapport with a girl to set things up from the outset. You won’t need to wonder ifshe enjoyed the conversation much as you,because you’ll KNOW whether she did just from looking at her body language and listening to what she said.

But let’s imagine that you’ve done your best to build attraction and comfort with a girl and now you need to make the next step.

Hot Girl on a Boat

Here’s what you should aim to do.

• You need some kind of bridge between you and her—a method of interacting with her. This could be her phone number, her email address (not recommended), her social networking site ID or the possibility of seeing her in person (she works somewhere public, she’s your friend’s housemate, etc.)
• Once you have one or more methods of contacting her, you need to use one of them. A text is a good place to start, because it’s not too personal or intense.
• Refer to the section of this crash course on phone and text game for info on how to send the perfect text, but for now just follow this general rule: Keep the text short, light-hearted, slightly flirty and the kind of message that deserves or requires a response. Again, check the section on phone and text game.
• After a few messages have passed between you and her, you need to suggest the idea of meeting up somehow. DO NOT suggest a date—you don’t know her well enough yet. Tell her you’re going to do something with your friends and she should come along to protect you or something.
• The next time you see her, whether it’s part of an event like the one just suggested, start building attraction and comfort in the way you should have when you first met her, and go from there.

It’s hard to explain everything you need to do to make an extended early relationship with a woman progress positively in just a few paragraphs, but the advice above should get you started.

Source: Black Belt Seduction Crash Course by Matthew William Sharpe

Send article as PDF to