First Dates SUCK. Don’t Do Them!

The Best First Date Idea

Why you shouldn’t ask a girl out on a first date.

Too many men ruin what could have been successful interactions with women by, right at the end, suggesting they go on a one-on-one date together.

Most of the time the girl will make an excuse and say she can’t do anything that week but that she’ll call him to arrange something soon.

You don’t have to be Einstein to realize that she’s totally lost interest in him and the idea of dating him when this kind of thing happens.

So what is it about the one-on-one date idea that so often kills the chemistry and attraction that’s been successfully built up between a guy and a girl?

Well, it’s actually three things.

First, when a guy suggests a one-on-one date after only having one conversation with a girl (even if it lasts a few hours), he’s making quite a definite, bold statement. He’s saying, “I like you so much that I’m willing to forego all other women here and elsewhere, from today until after we’ve had our thing, whatever may or may not come of it.”

This is such an intense statement, that, although it’s unspoken, makes it as clear as day in the female’s mind that the balance of power between her and the guy is totally tipped in her favor.

She sees what a massive effect she’s had on him and, usually, isn’t too impressed by how easy it was to win him over.

Now, that doesn’t mean to say that suggesting a one-on-one date with a girl is always a bad idea – just that it can often be a terrible one if done wrongly.

So, as a safe and effective alternative to setting up a dinner date or trip to the movies with a woman, try this. At the end of your successful interaction, in which time you’ve built mutually felt sexual chemistry, attraction and comfort between yourself and the girl, ask her if she’d like to tag along with you and a few other people to an event or social gathering.

Just make sure that she knows that doing or going to this thing will be you, her and OTHER PEOPLE

It can be anything: a group shopping trip, a house-warming party, a music event, etc. Just make sure that she knows that doing or going to this thing will be you, her and OTHER PEOPLE.

This achieves the following:

1. She feels less like it’s a date between you and her and therefore doesn’t feel as though she has any real power over you.
This maintains the “chase” aspect of your developing relationship and therefore keeps her interested in attracting you.

2. During the event or social gathering, she’ll have a chance to see you as a social person, with lots of friends and contacts. This
boosts your personal worth in her mind and she finds you more appealing because of that fact.

3. While you’re in the group (which consists of your friends plus her) you’ll have a chance to continue to work your magic on her.
After a few hours she’ll be dying to set up that one-on-one date that, only a few days previous, would have totally turned her off
the idea of dating you. Now she can’t think of anything she’d rather do.

Like these tips? Read some related posts (below) or get a load of more advance techniques with Black Belt Seduction

Opening Routines to Start Conversation with Women

Hot Young Girl

Some Great Basic Opening Routines

Once you have the confidence to APPROACH a girl/s the first thing you have to do to attract women is to “open” them.

Opening is NOT built to attract, it’s simply to OPEN conversation and allow you to start demonstrating attractive qualities about yourself and flipping “mental attraction triggers” in their minds.
This “attraction trigger” flipping is done by the way of pre-practiced ROUTINES.

Yes, you go into every approach knowing EXACTLY what you’re going to say and how you’re going to steer the conversation – just like a stand up comic would.

YOU will have the control.

The approach WILL change, but you’ll have routines you can use to adapt to any situation.

Some guys say, well, if I’m using routines, is that really jusybeing me?

Well, of course it is, because they become YOUR routines… and they are only there to give you the greatest chance of being able to build enough attraction to be able to “freestyle” with the girl you just met… and just be yourself.

Here’s a few simple but effective openers

Remember, these are NOT built to attract, they are there to OPEN.

1. “Hey, can I get your opinion on something?“
2. “Oh my god, you look just like this girl I knew from high school“

Openers can be as short and simple or long as you want them to be as long as they open effectively. For dozens and dozens of TRIED and TESTED openers that have VERY high success ratios, check out the first few belts of the course.

Here’s an example of a slightly longer, more complicated opener from Mr. M.

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The ‘Do me a favour!’ opener for attracting women If you can get a girl to do you a favor, you automatically create a connection between you and her.

As soon as she agrees to help you out, she’s obligated to spendingtime doing something connected to YOU.

You need to choose the favor carefully though. Too big and there’s a chance she’ll say no.

Too small and she’ll be able to complete it quickly and therefore forget about you quickly too.

Here’s a good one you can use:

Walk up to a girl or a couple of girls who are talking to each other and say,

“Hi. Could you do me a favour?” Don’t give them time to respond to this, just continue by saying, “I’ve got a problem with this phone (hold a cell phone in your hand). I need to test it. Could one of you hold it for a minute, I’ll go over there and call you.”

Chances are at this point they’ll be interested but still a little unsure of you and what you’re suggesting. So smile
and with a real air of confidence, say, “It’s okay. It’ll be fun! What’s your name?”

Once they’ve agreed to help you out, move away from them so you’re out of sight, around the corner or something. If you’re at all worried about the safety of your cellphone in their hands, get a wingman (a buddy of yours) to keep an eye on them from a distance.

He can also watch to see what they say once you’re out of sight and then report back to you a little later. When you’re out of sight, don’t call them for at least 3 full minutes.

This will seem like an eternity to them.

They won’t know why you haven’t called.

Is the phone broken? Have you tried calling yet? What type of guy leaves his phone with some girls he doesn’t know?!

All they’ll be thinking about will be YOU and the situation they’re in with you.

After 3 or 5 minutes, call the phone they’re holding for you using a wingman’s cell. It’s up to you what you say, but be playful.

After chatting to them for a minute or two, go back to see them and quiz them on how it sounded and if the call went through okay.

The advantages of this opener are plenty. It’s fun, different and unusual.

The girl or girls interact with you three times in this opener. First when you approach them and ask the favour, second
when you call and speak to them (a nice touch is asking the one who answers to put her friend on the line after 30 seconds and then playing with both of them, being flirty etc.), and third when you go back to them at the end.

That’s three times the impact of any other conventional opener and guaranteed to be different enough that they won’t see it coming as a “pickup”.

Now go straight into some routines. Simple…

Get more openers and more effective, advanced routines in Black Belt Seduction by Matthew William Sharpe

Eliminate Your Fear of Approaching Women

Here’s how to totally eradicate your fear of walking up to a woman

Courtesy of Mr. M.(one of the other Black Belt Seduction instructors).

Literally walking up to or otherwise getting close to a girl or group of girls and beginning a conversation with them can be extremely daunting and even scary for a guy–even if he’s usually confident and self-assured.

Approaching a girl or group in this way is simply known as ‘opening’ and it is one of the biggest fears and obstacles guys have trouble with when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex with the goal of attracting them in mind.

It’s not hard to see why.

Approaching and opening involves quite a large investment of effort on your part and seems, at first glance, to come with a fair amount of risk associated with it.

Let’s first look at the reasons men have trouble confidently approaching and opening. Then we’ll look at how you can bypass your approach anxiety and thereby open successfully whenever and wherever you choose to do so.

The mains reasons men fear the approach are:

• They’re scared of immediately getting shot down, rejected and made a fool of by the girl they start a conversation with  They think that the girl will immediately think that they’re trying to pick them up and seduce them and will therefore be extremely unenthusiastic about the idea of having anything like a normal, fun conversation with them
• Because of their insecurities, guys worry that a few minutes into the conversation with a girl, they’ll lose their initial feeling of confidence and slowly begin to unravel and lose it
• Men know that a successful pick-up involves more than just approaching and opening and therefore look ahead to the other stages of seduction and worry about them. They think how hard the
• conversation will be to maintain, for example, and how tricky it will be to close at the end of the chat and get a good result from it, like the girl’s phone number or a date with her
• They ponder over what guys who are already in the vicinity of the girl they’re interested in will think when they approach and get talking to her. ‘Will they see that I’m trying to pick-up the girl and try to thwart my attempt?’

There are other reasons guys fear the approach, but the remaining ones I haven’t listed fall into similar categories to the ones you’ve just read. They mainly relate to fears of being laughed at by the girl or otherwise rejected.

The first thing you need to do to conquer any fear of approaching you may have, is read, contemplate and truly understand and believe the following two concepts:

1. It’s vitally important that you forget about the goal of attracting women when you’re out on a daily basis. When you make the mistake of mainly thinking about the end goal in this way, you overload your brain with a mass of obstacles, problems and difficulties. Put simply, you cast your attention too far into the future and by doing so make things seem harder and more impossible than they really ever should be.

Instead, you should always concentrate on the sub-stages of attraction – the smaller steps and not the larger ones further down the line. So when you’re approaching women, DO NOT actively think about how you’re going to finally get her number or what you’re going to talk about in an hour’s time. Let your interactions with women take on an organic, free-flowing nature.

2. “How am I supposed to not think about the actual conversation, when it’s going to follow only moments after my opener? And how am I supposed to keep my mind off the problem of closing, when that’s the only thing that’s going to make my interactions with women truly successful?” The answer is: have faith in yourself. If you’re able to have a fun, lively conversation with one of your male friends, then you can do the same with an attractive woman. You just need to be laid back and unconcerned with what the outcome of your conversation will be.

Once you’ve completely taken on board the two concepts above, read over the following quick rules of thumb. Remembering and trusting in them will really help you approach and start talking to women confidently and  effectively:

The realistic worst-case scenario of an approach will never, ever be as bad as you might imagine. If a girl simply doesn’t seem to want to talk to you, that’s fine. You’re free to simply move on and talk to someone else. Her loss. Stay friendly and sociable and it will be the girls who don’t want to talk to you who will come off badly and seem frosty and unfriendly.

When you approach, only have the following at the forefront of your mind: I’m going to start and maintain a fun and interesting conversation with this girl. By thinking along these lines, you take out all of the sleaze of the interaction and the girls you talk to will sense this and like it.

Women have no problem talking to guys they don’t know if those guys are friendly, confident and interesting. You ARE all three of these things, so don’t worry about girls not wanting to chat to you because they’re uninterested in the idea of getting to know you.

Girls, the vast majority of the time, don’t do the approaching.

They don’t make the first move.

This is the case because they don’t need to – they know men will do it. This is one aspect of social life between the sexes in which women have the lion’s share of the power over men.

But don’t let that be a negative thing. Instead, remember this fact: because women leave the approaching and opening to men, when it happens in a positive and attractive way, they EMBRACE and enjoy it. Women dig it when guys approach them and bowl them over with their charisma, charm, confidence and humor. You’ve only got to watch a couple of chick flicks to see evidence of this fact.

Get more great info like this from Black Belt Seduction by Matthew William Sharpe

When and How to Kiss a Woman

When do I kiss the woman and how do I do it?

The 13th in our 20 Methods You can Use to Attract Women series.

Kissing a girl is a big move for most men and takes a lot of guts to carry out. But honestly speaking, most guys make more out of it than is necessary or warranted. They see more of an obstacle than is really there. You’re now going to learn a few simple facts and rules that will together make kissing girls much, much easier. There are two parts to getting it right every time. First you need to know when a girl is ready to be kissed by you.
Possessing this skill will clearly give you a massive advantage when dealing with the whole “first kiss” thing.

• Women will signal their sexual interest in you before you kiss them by touching and making physical contact with you every now and then. Pay attention to how and with what frequency girls touch you. They might casually brush your hand with theirs, tap you on the thigh to get your attention, or touch the outside of your upper arm while talking to you. When you notice these moments of contact, take them as they’re meant: as signs the girl feels physically comfortable with you and likes your company.
• Look for other signs a girl is attracted to you too. Is she playing with her hair? Smiling at everything you say? Refer to the ‘How can I tell if she’s attracted to me?’ section of this crash course. Check the index to find it.
• Unless you’re in a loud club, on the dance floor and unable to hear each other, you’re always going to need to talk to a girl for a while before she’s ready and willing to kiss you. The club kiss is the exception to the rule because some people in some clubs behave differently to other people in other places. Forget about kissing a girl without first having a conversation with her. 95% of the time you’re going to need a good deal of verbal interaction before you can kiss her.
• Trust your gut instinct. If you feel like the girl is having a good time with you and you’ve been interacting with each other for a while (60 minutes and over is usually a pretty accurate benchmark), then seriously think about kissing her. Use the rules that follow to do it.

Here’s how to make the first kiss easy.

• When you go in for the first kiss, you MUST do it confidently and spontaneously. Firstly, because women find confidence and spontaneity attractive. And secondly, because if you show any hesitancy or doubt about kissing her, she’ll feel similarly. If, however, you make it seem like the smallest thing in the world, she’s likely to think of it in the same way.
• Most of the time you can’t go from talking about mundane things like the weather and work to suddenly leaping in and kissing the girl you’re with. You need to already have flirted with each other using your body language AND your topics of conversation and comments. Don’t be crude and talk directly about sex though, unless she brings it up first. Instead, tiptoe around hot topics to create a strong sense of sexual tension.
• If you simply cannot seem to find a way to go from talking to a girl to kissing her, use a verbal bridge. That means overtly stating what you want to do. That’s  right: you actually bring up the topic of you kissing each other. Don’t be afraid to do it. Once again, women appreciate and find your ability to be outright and spontaneous attractive. They find it a relief, because most men are so unsure themselves can takeforever to get things rolling.

When it comes to initiating the first kiss with a girl, just remember the golden rule:
Make it seem like nothing and that’s how she’ll see it. Have faith in the rapport and sexual chemistry you’ve so far established with her. And be overt and blatant about the idea of kissing each other if going in unannounced isn’t your style. If you’re upbeat, unembarrassed and confident about the whole thing, she’ll be bowled over and only too happy to kiss you.

If you still feel like you need some specific words to say to set up the kiss, try the following. After lots of attraction and some comfort has been established and once you KNOW the woman is sexually attracted to you, get into a slower, calmer conversational mood. It should be just you and her. If she’s with friends, they should be at some distance to make this go as smoothly as possible. Look at her, then move your head back a bit, like you’re looking at her whole face. Smile just a little bit. When she says, “What?” you say, “I’m really struggling to hold back from kissing you. Is that bad?” The likelihood of her saying yes is staggeringly low. You’ve effectively said “Shall we kiss?” without the intensity and expectation those words carry. She will either respond by saying “No” or something like “Not really.” Either way, from her reaction you’ll know if she wants to kiss you. If she looks at your mouth and goes quiet, kiss her. If she laughs and looks away a little bit, like she’s slightly embarrassed, leave the kiss till later.

More advanced tips stemming from these are available in the free Black Belt Seduction Crash Course by Matthew William Sharpe