Eliminate Your Fear of Approaching Women

Here’s how to totally eradicate your fear of walking up to a woman

Courtesy of Mr. M.(one of the other Black Belt Seduction instructors).

Literally walking up to or otherwise getting close to a girl or group of girls and beginning a conversation with them can be extremely daunting and even scary for a guy–even if he’s usually confident and self-assured.

Approaching a girl or group in this way is simply known as ‘opening’ and it is one of the biggest fears and obstacles guys have trouble with when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex with the goal of attracting them in mind.

It’s not hard to see why.

Approaching and opening involves quite a large investment of effort on your part and seems, at first glance, to come with a fair amount of risk associated with it.

Let’s first look at the reasons men have trouble confidently approaching and opening. Then we’ll look at how you can bypass your approach anxiety and thereby open successfully whenever and wherever you choose to do so.

The mains reasons men fear the approach are:

• They’re scared of immediately getting shot down, rejected and made a fool of by the girl they start a conversation with  They think that the girl will immediately think that they’re trying to pick them up and seduce them and will therefore be extremely unenthusiastic about the idea of having anything like a normal, fun conversation with them
• Because of their insecurities, guys worry that a few minutes into the conversation with a girl, they’ll lose their initial feeling of confidence and slowly begin to unravel and lose it
• Men know that a successful pick-up involves more than just approaching and opening and therefore look ahead to the other stages of seduction and worry about them. They think how hard the
• conversation will be to maintain, for example, and how tricky it will be to close at the end of the chat and get a good result from it, like the girl’s phone number or a date with her
• They ponder over what guys who are already in the vicinity of the girl they’re interested in will think when they approach and get talking to her. ‘Will they see that I’m trying to pick-up the girl and try to thwart my attempt?’

There are other reasons guys fear the approach, but the remaining ones I haven’t listed fall into similar categories to the ones you’ve just read. They mainly relate to fears of being laughed at by the girl or otherwise rejected.

The first thing you need to do to conquer any fear of approaching you may have, is read, contemplate and truly understand and believe the following two concepts:

1. It’s vitally important that you forget about the goal of attracting women when you’re out on a daily basis. When you make the mistake of mainly thinking about the end goal in this way, you overload your brain with a mass of obstacles, problems and difficulties. Put simply, you cast your attention too far into the future and by doing so make things seem harder and more impossible than they really ever should be.

Instead, you should always concentrate on the sub-stages of attraction – the smaller steps and not the larger ones further down the line. So when you’re approaching women, DO NOT actively think about how you’re going to finally get her number or what you’re going to talk about in an hour’s time. Let your interactions with women take on an organic, free-flowing nature.

2. “How am I supposed to not think about the actual conversation, when it’s going to follow only moments after my opener? And how am I supposed to keep my mind off the problem of closing, when that’s the only thing that’s going to make my interactions with women truly successful?” The answer is: have faith in yourself. If you’re able to have a fun, lively conversation with one of your male friends, then you can do the same with an attractive woman. You just need to be laid back and unconcerned with what the outcome of your conversation will be.

Once you’ve completely taken on board the two concepts above, read over the following quick rules of thumb. Remembering and trusting in them will really help you approach and start talking to women confidently and  effectively:

The realistic worst-case scenario of an approach will never, ever be as bad as you might imagine. If a girl simply doesn’t seem to want to talk to you, that’s fine. You’re free to simply move on and talk to someone else. Her loss. Stay friendly and sociable and it will be the girls who don’t want to talk to you who will come off badly and seem frosty and unfriendly.

When you approach, only have the following at the forefront of your mind: I’m going to start and maintain a fun and interesting conversation with this girl. By thinking along these lines, you take out all of the sleaze of the interaction and the girls you talk to will sense this and like it.

Women have no problem talking to guys they don’t know if those guys are friendly, confident and interesting. You ARE all three of these things, so don’t worry about girls not wanting to chat to you because they’re uninterested in the idea of getting to know you.

Girls, the vast majority of the time, don’t do the approaching.

They don’t make the first move.

This is the case because they don’t need to – they know men will do it. This is one aspect of social life between the sexes in which women have the lion’s share of the power over men.

But don’t let that be a negative thing. Instead, remember this fact: because women leave the approaching and opening to men, when it happens in a positive and attractive way, they EMBRACE and enjoy it. Women dig it when guys approach them and bowl them over with their charisma, charm, confidence and humor. You’ve only got to watch a couple of chick flicks to see evidence of this fact.

Get more great info like this from Black Belt Seduction by Matthew William Sharpe